


Her Happiness

by me_encantas



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, alex is... there ig, and Molly, but it's also cute, gert is team deanoru, karolina just wants nico to be happy, ok maybe a lot, so is chase, they end up together, with a lil bit of angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22430194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/me_encantas/pseuds/me_encantas
Summary: "Lina?" The dark haired girl asked with a small voice, which reminded Karolina of how she was when they were just kids. She still hadn't noticed the blonde standing a few meters from her."Hey, Nico." The church girl replied, feeling a little too much.Nico looked so small.Not that she was ever that tall too begin with, but still.She didn't look like the portrait Karolina painted on her head to convince herself the other girl was better off without her."You came." It was almost a whisper.orNico keeps trying to run away from her feelings, but Karolina has always been more athletic.
Relationships: Karolina Dean/Nico Minoru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 58





	Her Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> heyy gays, how you doin?  
> it's me, with a deanoru two shot :DD  
> i really liked writing this one, so i hope you do too!  
> but anyways, have a good read  
> see you in the coments ;)

Karolina was oh so in love.

She first realized it when she was fourteen.

Feeling a heat like no other in the middle of the snow, in December.

As always, PRIDE and their respective children went to their annual ski trip. They would always stay for a week, what meant bonding time for everyone. Yay.

The blonde girl actually used to enjoy that.

It was so much fun when they were young and dumb, making snowmen and throwing snowballs, laughing like there was no tomorrow and nothing would ever change.

They weren't worried about what their peers thought about them. Weren't worried that they would sound or look weird. And, most of all, weren't worried about kissing anyone.

At night, they could stay up late, and the best part, sleep together.

Karolina would always sleep with Nico, her best friend. Gert with Molly, Amy, being the oldest, got the single bed, and Chase and Alex would battle for the last one.

When Alex inevitably lost, Karolina always ended up calling him to join her in her and Nico's bed.

It was not something pleasant to do, if you ask her. She pretty much enjoyed only being with her Nico, but as a kid, Alex was just as important. Or almost.

And they were so close, Karolina and Alex.

If she had to name a male best friend, she would definitely say Alex.

But that was a long time ago.

Now, being fourteen and entering high school everything had changed.

Everybody seemed so worried about… Well, everything.

Molly was the only calm one, still in middle school, still not giving a fuck.

But maybe that would forever be Molly.

Amy was also preoccupied with college applications, so she didn't even go to the trip.

And that left all the five neurotic teens to deal with themselves.

Nico also seemed pretty calm, but Karolina knew better than to believe that façade. The black haired girl was just as worried.

The blonde could see it in just a glance, like always.

But she was also seeing other things with those glances.

Like, how beautiful Nico was.

Not that she didn't know it yet, it's just… Teenagehood looked good on her.

And so did the shirt she was wearing, and her hoddie, and her lips, and her smile, and her… Everything.

Why was her heart beating so fast for?

Why couldn't she get herself to look away?

Fuck.

Why, out of all people, had she fallen in love with her best female friend?

It was overwhelming.

So she spent the rest of the week doing her best to avoid her. Which worked, kind of. They still slept together and talked about going to high school. Their fears and hopes.

And it was so fucking obvious why she had fallen in love with Nico.

It'd actually be weird if she hadn't.

So, Karolina can't say it was a surprise when Alex shyly told her he had a crush on Nico.

But it did make her heart ache, when she said that was great. When he explained his plan to make her fall in love with him. When they entered high school, with the blonde knowing she would lose Nico, even if she wasn't hers to begin with.

It almost seemed like Alex started a battle with her without knowing it, and Karolina could do nothing but watch him win, and hope that he would be the significant other Nico deserved.

But then, Nico avoided him every time.

She didn't seem to want to be with him like that, and Karolina could only hide her happiness and feel guilty about it.

The blonde hadn't lost her best friend.

On the contrary, they got closer.

And closer.

They started having more sleepovers alone and midnight walks, and they went stargazing, and read poetry to each other with funny voices, and sang their hearts out and…

And when they were fifteen, Nico kissed her.

It was movie night and they were cuddling. 

Karolina couldn't remember the name of the movie or of the main character, because keeping her breath steady with Nico lying on her chest was so hard, but so worth it.

Yet, she couldn't help it all the time.

She worried this was one of them because of the way Nico looked at her.

"It's okay Lina." The dark haired one reassured. "Mine can't seem to calm down either."

Karolina's eyes widened.

Nico was looking at her lips. Getting closer, putting a hand on her left cheek, which was now hot.

The blonde girl lost track of everything once their lips gently collided.

It was everything she never thought she would have.

Her mouth was warm and soft, and it sent all types of emotions to her whole body.

It was like fireworks, but more euphoric.

It was… Oh.

Nico pulled away.

"I'm sorry." Wait, what? "I'm so sorry Lina. So, so sorry." The dark haired girl got up gathering her things from the floor.

"Wait, Nico, slow down. What are you apologizing for? That was amazing." Karolina smiled, still confused.

"I can't do this." Her voice braked, breaking the blondes' heart. 

Only then she realized it. Maybe Karolina could never really have Nico.

But when Alex told her Nico had finally accepted going out with him she became bitter.

It was unfair that Alex, whomst Nivo definitely did not like back, could have it, and she couldn't.

It was unfair and it made her feel miserable. 

So congratulating her friend felt fake. Smiling that whole day felt fake. And her friendship with Nico started to feel fake, which is sad, because she's the most real thing Karolina ever felt.

They never talked about the kiss, yet, they all moved forward.

The blonde was now totally committed to being 24/7 at her mother's church, where she knew Nico wouldn't go.

She somewhat distanced herself from the PRIDE kids, only keeping major contact only with Molly and sometimes Chase.

Karolina knew Nico was dating Alex, and she couldn't help but wonder if they also stargazed. If Nico also read him poetry in funny voices. If, when they kissed, it felt like heaven on earth for her.

And when those thoughts would cross her head, she would feel like crying.

But as long as Nico was happy, it was okay.

Right?

So she couldn't look her in the eyes when she walked down the hall, hand in hand with Alex.

She couldn't, because if Nico was giggling and looking at him like he meant the world to her, it would physically kill Karolina.

And if Nico didn't look at him like that, she would pick up the battle for the dark haired girls' heart, and hurt everyone that meant so much to her in the middle.

It was a hard time.

On top of all that, Chase also decided that he was going to ask her out and make Gert hate her more than she already did.

She said no.

Mostly because Karolina is pretty sure she's a lesbian, partially because she's not over Nico, and smally because as much as her life seemed to suck right now, she would very much like to keep it, and Gert once told her her parents gave her a real life dinosaur and… Well, she wasn't about to try her luck. Even if she said that when they were nine.

After she said no to the boy, they also grew distant, and Karolina was starting to feel lonely.

It's not like she didn't have all the PRIDE kids there for her, but she couldn't bring herself to be with them anymore.

Gert was the first one to notice, surprisingly.

As the blonde did her best to avoid eye contact with Nico in one of their families gathering, it may have become obvious for anyone that tried to figure Karolina out.

So the purple haired girl called her to another room and asked what was wrong for the last time, ready to say she knew everything if the church girl tried to deny it.

Karolina didn't.

She was way too overwhelmed to lie again. To fake another smile. 

To pretend that the girl she loved wasn't kissing someone else right in front of her.

Karolina just cried, like she never had before.

She was a sobbing mess, and Gert was the only thing keeping her from falling on the ground.

"It's okay that you feel the way you do." The girl with glasses kept reassuring. "I'm sorry that you had to deal with this alone for so much time. But I'm here for you now, Lina. And I'm not going to let you isolate yourself anymore."

And just like that, things started to get better.

Gert became her closest friend, and they were so good for eachother. Karolina learned so much from the purple haired girl, about feminism and heteronormativity, and how she was not a freak to like another girl.

They talked about literature and Gerts' not-so-subtle crush on Chase. Karolina said she should go for it.

It was the best thing that happened to her after the kiss.

Then, they were 17.

Seniors already, worrying about college.

Nico and Alex were still dating somehow, while Gert and Chase pretend that they weren't in love. They were, by the way, both of them told Karolina.

Molly was not dating yet. Like the blonde.

But unlike Karolina, the girl didn't have to answer questions all the time about why she was still single.

Apparently, if you were mildly attractive, not having a boyfriend by now is some sort of crime. Even her parents seemed to want her to find someone already.

Well, not anyone.

A boy.

Because, definitely, being gay was out of the question.

Karolina could never like other girls, she was born and raised on a church. And she was feminine, and once told her mother Zac Efron is cute. When she was seven.

At least that seemed to make sense to everyone somehow.

And if she didn't tell, they would never find out she was a whole ass lesbian. And that was okay, for now.

It wasn't so okay when she started seeing this girl, Julie Power. 

She was on her algebra class, and was always glancing at her.

It was cute. Julie was cute.

So they started talking, and suddenly, it was not just talking.

When Julie first kissed her, it was… Good. Yes, it was good.

But it was not what she felt when she kissed Nico. Not even close.

Still, it felt good to be with another girl. It felt right, as long as her former best friend didn't cross her mind.

And for a while, Karolina was truly happy again.

She had amazing friends, and somewhat of an amazing, understanding, beautiful girlfriend.

The blonde even pondered coming out to her parents, thought she didn't follow through with it. Yet.

But in some not cold, neither hot, friday, she received a call, at 2am.

From someone who hadn't called her in a long time.

It was so sudden, Karolina just stared at the name on the screen for a few seconds before remembering to answer it.

"Nico?" She asked, still confused.

"Heyy, Lina! Did I ever tell you your eyes are like to ocean?" Nico rolled her thong. The asian girl didn't seem very sober. "Sometimes, I just want to divee in them, and never come back. Hic."

"Nico, are you drunk?" Karolina questioned, now worried. "Where are you? Where's Alex?"

"Alex? I don't know. He doesn't kiss me with sparkles like you, Lina. I miss you." The girl continued, starting to sound on the verge of tears. 

"Please Nico, I need you to tell me where you are so I can pick you up." The blonde insisted, grabbing her car keys and going towards the garage.

"I don't know where I am Lina, but I wish I was with you. Even Chase get to be with you and I don't." Nico pouted. "Chase! Why is it that Karolina loves you more than she loves me?" She asked loudly.

"Chase is there?" Stupid Nico.

"Yess. He told me you would come too, so I came. But you weren't here, so I got sad and drank something that probably contained alcohol." Fucking idiot.

"I'm coming. Don't get out of the house, okay?" Couldn't she see it?

"'Kay Lina. But when you get here, can we cuddle for some time? Then you can go back to hating me again." Karolina turned off the phone and started to drive to the Stein residence.

How come Nico can't see that the blonde could never feel anything other than hopeless love towards her? Wasn't it fucking obvious?

She was mad.

Truly mad at Nico. Something she didn't think was possible for most of her life.

Karolina wasn't the type that got angry a lot.

Or at all.

She was understanding and calm, nothing could ever bother her.

That is, until now.

Now she was fucking pissed.

Nico, her best friend who she had a crush for the longest time kissed her, and it was amazing, and she left for a boy who could never be what she needed and deserved.

Just to, two years later, make a drunk call to the blonde saying she misses her and understands that Karolina hates her.

The church girl Fucking. Wishes. She could hate her.

It would've made everything so much easier for her.

Maybe she wouldn't have cried so many nights, wondering why Nico didn't love her back. Wondering if she ever even stood a chance. Wondering why she kissed her. Wondering if she was eating well and taking good care of herself.

Wondering if she was happy.

Karolina wishes she could hate her. 

But truth be told, she's mad for all the times she denied herself the call Nico just did.

All those times in the middle of the night, when she wrote a book for a text talking about all she wondered and thought about, just to erase it and try to never look back again, because if Nico chose Alex, than Alex is making her happy.

And she simply could not interfere in the other girl's happiness.

She just never thought Nico would be crying because of her. If she was crying, the dark haired girl wasn't happy. If she wasn't happy, she could've made the call two years ago.

It was infuriating.

Karolina had to calm her breath once she got to Chase's house.

The blonde could clear everything up with Nico some other time, what matters now is making sure her former best friend is safe.

With that in mind, she entered the gate, already seeing some of her peers passed out on the grass.

Karolina didn't really go to this type of parties, even though Chase always tried to drag her to them. It just didn't fit her personality. Or Nico's, for the matter.

But she probably didn't know Nico that well anymore. So finding her would be something slightly hard.

Entering the house, it was like having a look at hell on earth.

Was anyone actually capable of enjoying this?

She was scanning the room for someone small wearing all black. Shouldn't be so hard.

Someone throwing up, people almost having sex, people hooking up, someone blacked out on the couch, Chase flirting with some girl, and…

Chase!

Chase could help.

Maybe.

He seemed drunk. But anyways.

"Hey, Chase!" Karolina called him, making the boy turn to her with a confused look on his face.

"Karo? You came?" His confusion started to become a smile. "GUYS! SHE CAME!" He announced, and everyone sort of cheered, even though the blonde was sure none of them knew her.

"I came for Nico. Do you know where she is?" She asked loudly, hoping the boy would be sober enough to help.

"Ohh Nico! Yes, she said she was going to call Karolina" Chase grinned, getting closer to the blonde. "Don't tell her, but I think Nico is in loove with her!" He whispered, and started laughing.

Now the church girl was blushing.

When Chase was in his right mind again, she would definitely kick him.

That's not something you say about a girl who was a boyfriend! Which is also his friend, by the way.

Well, she would have to figure out where Nico was alone, apparently.

Or maybe, just maybe, she could use her head and phone to make a call, like a normal person, instead of forgetting about this resource.

Karolina got out of the house again, so that the noise of the party wouldn't overcome Nico's voice.

She searched for the goth's contact, that was left untouched for so long.

Bringing the phone to her ear, she heard another one ring. Nico must be close. 

So she started following the ring, and when the other girl finally picked it up, she had already found her, sitting under a tree.

"Lina?" The dark haired girl asked with a small voice, which reminded Karolina of how she was when they were just kids. She still hadn't noticed the blonde standing a few meters from her.

"Hey, Nico." The church girl replied, feeling a little too much.

Nico looked so small. 

Not that she was ever that tall too begin with, but still.

She didn't look like the portrait Karolina painted on her head to convince herself the other girl was better off without her.

"You came." It was almost a whisper.

It was shy and soft, sounding surprised and reliefed. She looked a lot more sober than she sounded on the phone.

The blonde sat down besides her.

"I'm sorry for calling. But I guess this means that you don't hate me that much?" Nico questioned, not meeting the other girls eyes.

"Right now, I kinda do." Karolina answered, sighting. That made the goth curl up in herself some more. "Because you actually thought I could ever hate you." Nico's eyes shot up. 

Karolina went quiet for some time, and the dark haired girl looked at her like she couldn't for the last two years. She really looked at her.

Every little things that changed and all that stayed the same.

The blonde looked as gorgeous as ever. As kind and calm and perfect.

She was so special.

"Can we still cuddle?" Nico asked, wanting to make this last a little longer.

She wishes it could last forever.

"Yes." Karolina said, putting her arms around the other girl, like she used to do when they first entered high school.

Nico wishes it could last forever, she really did. But forever would require way too much commitment, and she still wasn't ready.

And maybe this wasn't fair to Karolina, or to Alex, or to herself, but this moment was everything she longed for during those two years.

She wishes she was braver.

And at the end of the day, everybody wishes a lot, but nobody is actually willing to make it happend.

But the thing is, Karolina wasn't wishing anything anymore.

While this was another goodbye for Nico, she was willing to make it happend this time. Because now she knew.

She knew she could make Nico happier.

And her happiness always came first.


End file.
